Choked
by AlessanaVargas
Summary: Rachel choked. She choked on the most important day of her life. And the person who should've been there for her doesn't really care. She can't take it anymore and explodes. One-Shot for now, possibly future chapters later.


**A/N: Hello! This is just another ramble that didn't leave me alone for weeks until I was able to type it, so I apologize for any mistake. Please feel free to point them out. To be honest I skipped from On My Way to Prom-Asaurus so I don't know exactly all the facts from Choke, only what I've seen on previews and tumblr. But here's just an image I couldn't get out of my head. One shot for now, possibly more chapters. Please Read and Review!**

* * *

_Rachel choked. _

_Rachel Berry choked._

_She knew that song by heart, every lyric, every beat, every pause. It was her song. It was her time to shine. The audition she'd been preparing for since she could remember, the opportunity of her life!... _

_And she choked! She was devastated! No, she was more that devastated, she was lost. What do you do when the dream you've been getting ready for all your life simply, vanishes away? What do you do when it slips between your fingers and you are not able to hold it? Rachel Berry always knew she was meant for stardom, she always knew she was born to shine… or at least she thought so. And now, standing alone in the middle of the stage, her stage, she found herself questioning everything._

_Had she ever been good enough?_

_Should she even sing again?_

_What was she going to do now?_

_Was it possible for her to get a second chance at her audition?_

_Maybe if she went to NY herself and talk to the school board they'd give her a second chance._

A week had passed since her audition and every day she kept coming back to that auditorium to replay every moment in her head, and she still couldn't understand why she choked.

The bell rang. Free period was over.

She made her way to her locker walking against a sea of students; she noticed Kurt and Mercedes between the crowd and their apologetic smiles. She hated that! She also saw Tina, Mike and Artie and, by the way they looked at each other, she knew they were talking about her. She hated that even more! It had been a week and only Kurt had managed to tell her something comforting, not even Finn had made an effort! He kept talking and talking about being an actor and how he had found his real dream and "_stuff"_.

She looked up and recognized her tall fiancée at the far end of the hall talking to some football players, not noticing her at all. Rachel was furious.

Why didn't Finn care!

He always said he loved her, but when she needed him the most he always pulled away and sided with everyone else. It was exhausting and infuriating.

She pulled her gaze away from Finn and continued to walk to her locker, when she felt eyes on her. She was used to it by now, with everyone staring at her, for one reason or another. But this was different, she knew this look, the one that made the hairs on the back of her neck rise, there was only one person who looked at her like that. She turned around and found who she was looking for; Quinn.

There she was, blonde, deep hazel eyes, perfect. Rachel was extremely proud of her, and their friendship, it was all she always hoped to take with her from highschool.

Their eyes locked for just a moment and Rachel couldn't decipher Quinn's look, the girl was a mystery. Suddenly Quinn's expression changed and she seemed annoyed, really annoyed…

"Hey Rach!"

Rachel jumped and looked away from Quinn only to find her fiancée standing right in front of her.

"God Finn! You scared me!"

"Oh… Sorry?"

She quickly looked away to the place where Quinn was, but she was gone. Rachel sighed.

_Great timing Finn. Thanks_

"It's okay Finn. How are you today?"

"I'm great Rach!..."

Would he ask how was she doing?

"…So I was thinking…"

No… Of course not.

"… Since it's been a week, you surely are over the whole NYADA audition situation and so maybe we could start talking about California and our future there…"

Wait… What?

"… I mean, since I am going to be an actor there and you're gonna be my wife..."

She had stopped listening, she couldn't listen anymore. There was a loud buzzing in her ears and an immense anger was slowly growing from her stomach, she was just watching as he kept talking with that stupid grin on his face. Did he not realize what he just said?

"_You surely are over the whole NYADA audition situation…"_

No, she surely heard him wrong. He couldn't have said that. It couldn't be real. She was well aware that Finn was not the brightest person but he couldn't really be _that _clueless!...

Right?

"I'm sorry Finn. What did you just say?"

She was trying to breathe as normally and steady as she could manage under the situation.

"What? Come on Rach! Weren't you listening? This is about my future! _Our_ future!"

"Finn, please repeat what you said about my audition".

She was fuming now, she had never been angrier with someone in her entire existence. She was fuming and about to lose control.

"Uhh.. That's been over a week and you're probably over it by now? I don't understand what that has to do with anything. I am trying to make a plan for…"

"Over it! OVER IT! How am I ever supposed to be over it Finn? It was my lifelong dream! What I thought I was meant to do! My destiny! I was supposed to be a star! And now everything's gone and all you care about is California!"

"Whoa Rach! You're being a little selfish there don't you think? Only because you choked doesn't mean _I_ have to put _my_ dreams on hold. I am only talking about this because I want us to have a future together. _I _am doing this for _you!_"

"What!"

Rachel couldn't hold it any longer, she couldn't stay there for another second or she'd kill him! It didn't matter how tall he was, Rachel could, and would, take him down. She felt the sting of tears in her eyes and a lump of anger in her throat, she thought she was going to throw up. But between her anger and her tears she managed to say:

"I can't believe you are being serious Finn. How can you? Don't you realize what that audition meant for me! And all you care about is YOU and YOUR dreams! Do not try to make it sound like you're doing this for us, for _me_. You are doing it for yourself alone, do not ever call me selfish again!"

And with that she stormed out, she wouldn't be able to hold it together during class so she went so the bathroom as quickly as she could. Her eyes were so full of tears by now that she missed a certain blonde who had witness the entire scene and appeared as she was about to murder someone.

* * *

She spend the rest of the day in the bathroom, trying to calm herself, trying to make up excuses for Finn like she always did. But it had been too much, Finn had crossed a line not even she was able to justify him for.

There was something pressing her heart, a feeling she couldn't define exactly. Anger, sadness, disappointment, anxiety, hopelessness, despair, fury…

She was flipping out inside her own mind and she needed to do something about it. She was an artist, a singer, a performer and she only knew one way to show and say how she felt when her own words were not enough.

With a song.

* * *

She left the bathroom and headed to the choir room with determination and self confidence.

She was the last one to arrive and doubt had started to cloud her mind, but when she saw Finn sitting on the first row, saving her a seat, smiling like nothing had happened, she found her determination again.

"Mr. Schuester, as you all know, recent events have made me question my whole existence, but I am now determined to pursue my dream no matter what".

Everyone, including Mr. Schuester looked at her expectantly, waiting for what was going to come. Everyone had the same facial expression, between surprise and uncertainty.

Everyone , except Finn and Quinn.

Quinn's expression what almost blank, except for a tiny shine of pride in the corner of her eyes.

Finn just looked confused, like he always looked when Rachel talked to him about something important.

Mr. Shuester was the first and only one, to talk.

"Well Rachel, I think that is excellent! I am proud of you."

"Thank you Mr. Schue. Also, I have recently learned of some… future plans Finn has been making, and I wanna sing him a song."

"Okay. Excellent Rachel. Go ahead!"

Mr. Schue looked excited, while the rest looked still expectant, Finn was beaming, and Quinn now seemed angry. Rachel turned around to the band and told them the song she was singing, she made a signal to Brad to start, and she delivered the first note:

_Easy come easy go that's just how you live_

_Oh take take take it all but you never give_

Every single person in the Glee club knew the song, and Kurt gasped in shock while Mercedes and Santana looked at each other, eyes filled with surprise.

Rachel was looking directly at Finn, who now seemed more confused than ever.

Quinn just looked away.

_Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss_

_Had your eyes wide open_

_Why were they open?_

Rachel closed her eyes and remembered that first kiss in the auditorium. The picnic she had planned for them. The way Finn had kissed her, hesitant, and how when she opened her eyes she realized Finn had never closed them.

_Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash_

_You tossed it in the trash you did_

_To give me all your love is all I ever asked_

_cause what you don't understand_

She then looked at him remembering every single moment she had given her everything, every time she had stood up for him, every time she had been by his side.

_Is I'd catch a grenade for you_

_Throw my hand on the blade for you_

_I'd jump in front of a train for you_

_You know I'd do anything for you_

_See I would go through all this pain_

_Take a bullet straight through my brain_

_Yes I would die for ya baby, but you won't do the same.._

She was now singing at the top of her lungs, with all the emotion she had been keeping up inside her. She was crying, saying all the things she wanted to say. Looking right at Finn who was now looking back at her with his eyes wide open.

_If my body was on fire_

_Oh you would watch me burn down in flames_

She looked around the choir room remembering every time someone had said something hurtful to her, and how Finn had never stood up for her.

How he had sided with Santana every time, how he always put everyone first.

How he had called her a "Sad Clown Hooker" and how he had been pissed when she dressed up as Britney, but only because it would affect _his_ image.

_You said you loved me you're a liar_

_Cause you never ever ever did baby.._

She had never sung anything like she was singing this.

Staring right into Finn's eyes, no doubts, not taking anything back. Pure, raw emotion pouring out of her throat and eyes.

_Cause I'd catch a grenade for you_

_Throw my hand on the blade for you_

_I'd jump in front of a train for you_

_You know I'd do anything for you_

_Oh babe I would go through all this pain!_

_Take a bullet straight through my brain!_

She took a deep breath preparing for the end.

_Yes I would die for ya baby, but you won't do the same!_

She finished with the most amazing note, the most emotional note.

She finished in tears.

Every one sat in silence. Kurt and Blaine were looking at each other in shock. Mercedes and Sam were exchanging surprised looks with Artie and Rory. Tina and Mike couldn't take their eyes off of Rachel. Puck was just looking at Finn, he wanted to punch him in the face, and so did Santana she was about to go all Lima Heights on his ass. Brittany seemed to have enjoyed the performance but didn't say anything. Sugar didn't seem to really understand what had just happened and had been the only one who clapped. Mr Shue was looking back and forward from Rachel to Finn to Rachel and to the rest of the Glee club, searching for some kind of explanation.

Finn was now trying not to cry, he finally seemed to realize what just happened. And was also trying to avoid everyone else's gaze.

Quinn was still looking away, but she was clearly holding on to her chair. Knuckles white, and arms shaky.

Rachel took of her engagement ring and gave it back.

"It's over Finn".

"But… Rach… What? We can work it out… We… I…"

"No Finn. It is over. I cannot be with you anymore. Go to California and leave me alone."

Was all she managed to say before running out of the choir room.

At that moment Quinn looked up. And Rachel missed the proud look on her eyes.


End file.
